Why We Choose Emotion

When I thought about the question why one would choose emotion over reason, I realized that we don't really choose. That is not to say that we don't have a choice, but we default to emotion in the way we operate — and with that we don't even get to the point of being deliberate about it.

Take any of your sensory inputs — your eyes, your ears, what you smell, feel... Whatever enters your system triggers a response in a split of a second. And without you knowing, you have formed an opinion. You either like or dislike the stimulus. Cool air moving over your skin on a hot day versus a motor scooter cutting through the silence. One might be pleasant, the other bothering you.

Emotional behavior is deeply baked into our society. Oftentimes it is even encouraged. When someone is angry, we reframe it as "blowing off steam". A jealous person might be labeled ambitious. Being passionate about something can be seen as being much alive. So what we do when attaching the many labels, is justifying and reinforcing a certain behavior. We hear sentences like, "That's just the way he is." or, "She's always been like this." We not only tolerate, but accept the status quo for a simple reason: It's easy. It's easy for others and for ourselves. Low friction. We give people a free pass and we claim the same for us. We commonly tap into spiritual or philosophical language that we came across at some point: "Be like water. There is no good or bad. Be yourself. Just let go." What those examples have in common — when taken out of context — is that they let you bypass accountability. They translate into: Don't try so hard; don't doubt yourself; it's okay.

One might argue that nature works the same — frictionless. It just exists effortlessly without doing anything in particular. But is it really like that? Or is it how we like to portray it because — again — it's convenient. A tree doesn't just come into existence and is able to withstand a storm. It takes decades to build deep roots with highly complex systems at work. And even then the outcome is uncertain and it might die off. The same is true for a bird. It looks so light, but is actually consuming all of its energy just to stay alive. Nature's default is hard work. And when brought to perfection, it appears effortless.

It is only our modern society that deviates and obsesses over convenience and comfort more than anything. And that brings us back to the starting point: We choose emotion out of convenience and comfort. That is not to say emotion is a flaw in our human design. It has its purpose and is actually very helpful. Every time we erupt into anger, lose our temper or deliver a judgement on someone, a second layer of emotion — shame and guilt — hits us like a boomerang. When occupying a healthy amount of space, shame and guilt serve as waymarkers. They painfully remind us of the unfinished work ahead of us; how we have to further strengthen our roots to withstand the next storm.

Since there is not only negative emotion, what about "positive" feelings like joy, passion, pride or hope? As stated earlier, they are baked into our society and are common goalposts for us. Who doesn't want to be happy or optimistic? Who refuses to take pride in their achievements?

But do these feelings really serve us? In fact they are all inherently transitory. They don't last. And because they don't last but are so pleasant, we keep chasing them — sometimes all our life. That doesn't mean we should abandon all emotion and suppress our impulses. But we can learn to understand them as just one layer of the whole. We can learn to observe them, react to them in a way that serves us and see through them when they pull us off course, instead of being enslaved to them.

Being led through life by emotion or leading life through reason is, after all, a choice that is up to us — and up to us only. It's a simple choice, yet very difficult to make time and time again.